Maybe it is me, because I just don't get it!

A friend asked me a week or so ago if I had Christmas pajamas for the kids to wear and look cute in for Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. Ummmm....Never occurred to me!! I think my kids look cute in the mismatched jammies that were from last year and are ready for the flood!! You think my kids will remember anything beyond what they got for Christmas? I sure as hell don't remember if my sister and I ever had matching special Christmas pajamas!





This isn't the only thing I don't get, so I have decided it must just be me!





I do not get that evil looking elf that you have to move every night. I feel bad enough lying to my kids about Santa and holding it over their head, but to add something else to my list to try to remember to do.....FORGET IT!





I do not get how people search and search for the best deal and the perfect gift. My ass sat on my couch and pointed and clicked my way thru Christmas shopping. If someone does not think it is perfect, then so be it. Don't use the shit, but make sure you tell me, so I won't waste my time on you next year! See, to me, my time is of value and I would much rather spend it doing something fun and I do not enjoy shopping!





I do not get dragging a ton of shit out of the attic/basement for a month to make anything look pretty. I am slightly jealous of people that are able to pull this off, but I am not one of them nor do I have the patience to attempt it!





I do not get waiting with the masses to see Christmas lights or paying to see them. We have several places nearby that are free and win top award on our tacky light tour!!





I do not get glitter as a decorating item. I will suck glitter up for the next 6 mo. from bows, ornaments, cards and kids. My husband has left in a nice clean uniform covered with glitter from a stupid pair of pants the girl child had to have. He looked like a drag queen all shiny and flashy!





I do not get being all fixed up for every event every day. I don't own a single tube of lipstick, let alone many shades for various seasons or outfits or event types. Burt's Bees lip balm is my friend.





I do not get buying my kids 10 pairs of shoes. The girl has several pairs, but only one good pair that I paid good money for. Then she has a pair of winter crocs, a pair of tennies, and a couple hand-me-downs. The boy has 2 pairs of shoes. A pair of winter crocs and a pair of tennies. They are kids, they will only wear them for 1/2 a year and then they will be destroyed or too small.





I do not get having good clothes and play clothes for my kids. We have clothes for them. All they do is play, so I guess all they have are play clothes. If it doesn't go in the washing machine and dryer, I don't buy it. I hardly buy anything new for my kids and I don't feel guilty about it. Really, consignment is the only way I go or I make them for the girl. I might fill in a gap here or there, but does anyone really care? I sure don't! Clothes do not make my kids cute.

I do not get why people have to brag about the name brand of their clothes or items. My coat (until last year) was still the FedEx one I used to wear when I was still driving! My shoes are Dansko knock-offs. I will never own a Coach purse and really don't give a shit if you do! My dog is a full blooded lab, FROM the POUND! My kids destroy everything, so it doesn't matter if it is from Target, consignment or Gap. My house will never have a Pottery Barn look to it because my life is about function, not look.

AGAIN, I do not get stuff, so I guess it is just me!

Cleaning....my approach

So, most people that know me well know that my house is a disaster. It isn't crawling with bugs and growing stuff in the corners disaster, but I pile. I mound. I don't believe in dusting. I keep too much shit. And, I have a small house! 2 Dogs, 1 cat, 2 kids and a husband often make huge messes just after I mop or run the sweeper, so I skip the deep cleaning and do what needs to be done to keep it sanitary. Plus, I have 1 million things I would rather do than clean. Watching the grass grow is far more exciting than cleaning!

So, the father-in-law and his friend will be staying with us for some time while they are between houses. It is the holidays and it doesn't seem right that they'd be in a hotel. I realized that there will be 6 of us for meals and that with all the shit on the dining room table, I had a little work to do. Well that little chore developed into a full blown 3 day house cleaning job now! It should have been done long ago! I have done it all! The bathroom was bleached and scrubbed. I realize that if Santa brought me a new bathroom or even just a new bathroom floor and vanity, I'd be in heaven! The kitchen was de-cluttered and the counters were found. So, what is my favorite thing to clean with?

In case you can't read it, it is simple green max automotive cleaner and degreaser! It is awesome!! It took my stove from yuck to newish looking (which is what is beside the 1 gal jug and is about 18 years old, but still works)!! If Santa brought me a new 30" Wolf gas range, I would be in heaven, too. See....I LOVE to cook (and eat and those that know me realize this when you look at my husband and I)! The knobs to control the stove no longer have writing on then, but I get it done without them. Anyway.....back to simple green: It cleans soap scum in the shower! It is great on laundry. I use it on the hot-tub filters. And, it doesn't smell 1/2 bad.

Now, you may wonder how I, the trucker turned Momma came upon such a fab cleaning idea. Well this goes way back....

I worked my way thru college loading package cars at UPS at 2am (that is their fancy term for a truck). It is a dirty job. Their uniforms are brown and FedEx's blue for a reason. If they were white, you would not want anything to do with that delivery! Well, one night I didn't make it home in time from a social engagement to change for work. I wore a decent shirt and pants to work. Mike Zipko and I worked across from each other on the belt and we both had used tape before to protect our pants from the dirt on the belt, but I couldn't tape my whole polo up! I got an ugly grease stain on it from somewhere in the truck. Driver Charlie Hughes came in and asked what was up with my fancy get-up. He told me to go buy simple green at the auto parts store. Spray that shit on my shirt and scrub. It worked! Since then, I have graduated from college, got my master's, worked as a manager for FedEx Ground, worked as a driver and co-owner of our own trucking company, and still LOVE simple green. I also use baking soda and vinegar for lots of stuff. Good old bleach is awesome! RainX helps lessen bathtub rings from 2 kids that love to play in the dirt. Who needs some fancy household cleaner isle at the store. Use what you have in your garage!!

It is no biggie

I know that there will come a day when my kids will REALLY want some special toy or something that their friends want. Until then, I am going to be a cheap mean Mom. They are ungrateful as it is and to just give them the moon now will not be cherished. I look over at our tree and they have 3 gifts each, a joint gift, and then will have what Santa brings, which is a couple stocking stuffers and one gift. What else does a 4 year old that will hardly play by herself really need? The boy could be given a stick and be thrilled! So really, why go all out?!?!? I would rather take a nice family vacation with the money we are NOT spending on Christmas this year! Call me cold. Call me selfish. Call me cheap. I think it is brilliant!

Holiday Deviled Eggs

Who would think I'm crafty and Suzy Homemakerish? Since we have 6 chickens laying now, we always seem to have eggs to give and eggs to spare. With a holiday party on the books, I decided to make deviled eggs. I searched the web for a Christmas Holiday presentation idea and came up empty. So, I asked some facebook friends for a little input. I combined several ideas with my favorite deviled egg recipe and this is the result.

Ingredients:  
Eggs (1 dozen)

4 Slices of Bacon
1 c GOOD cheddar cheese
3/4 Mayo
1 T Honey or Horseradish Mustard
1 t dry mustard
Dash of Tabasco

I started by making the hard boiled eggs first. Put eggs in water and bring to a boil. Once boiling, remove from heat and let them sit in the hot water for 10 min. Remove to an ice bath. Because I use fresh eggs, I peel them right away to help with the tough shell removal.

Cut peeled eggs in 1/2 removing the yolk and setting it aside. Use food coloring to dye eggs green. I used 1 c water, 1TBSP apple cider vinegar and 10 drops of green. This is where the kids helped. They put the eggs in and stirred them. Remove them to a paper towel to dry.

Now, the filling:
Cook to a crisp 4 pieces of bacon and then drain well on a paper towel & cool completely. Mash the yolks. Add 3/4 c mayo, 1 tbsp honey mustard (Or horseradish mustard) , 1 tsp dry mustard, dash of Tabasco, salt and pepper to taste. Grate 1 c good white cheddar cheese and add to the yolk mixture (I always use Cabot, because I have a special attachment to the Cabot co-op cheese)! Cut crisped bacon into very small pieces with kitchen scissors and add to mixture. Make sure it is all blended well and creamy. If it seems a little stiff, all another spoon of mayo. Cut the corner of a baggie off and then add the yolk mixture. Use this like a piping bag to fill the dyed eggs. Add a sprig on rosemary and a slice of cherry tomato and you have some awesome Christmas Deviled Eggs!