My life in oxymorons

I love a clean house, but I hate to clean.

I like to make my kids look cute, but I don't do a thing about myself.

I can load a trailer in A+ form and know the principles of how to build a good trailer wall, but I cannot get the groceries in the back of my minivan without bruising a banana or squishing the bread. (Cornerstone, base, alternate, shelf and fill are those principles, in case you were wondering!)

I love playing card games and board games, but playing them with my kids is painful because they cannot focus and be determined about it like me!

I can find most any place with a map, but program that stupid TomTom and it pisses me off.

I really like good food, but a lot of times, I am disappointed when I go out to eat because a lot of it I can make as well at home and yet I paid a place to not WOW me.

I can back a 53' trailer into a dock spot and a straight truck thru an offset alley maneuver, but I can't back up my driveway 20% of the time.

I love the lake and boating, but not real fond of swimming with the fish I'd rather catch.

I love my kids, but they both drive me crazy and the same time they are looking so cute.

I used to ride a mountain bike and was pretty hardcore about it, but now I am scared to even ride a regular bike on a paved path.

I am usually exhausted, but still have trouble sleeping.

I love my dogs and cat, but I cannot stand the fur they produce!