Sad but Proud

I used to be an "on the fast track" manager.  I left the job because I didn't want to take another promotion and face all the number pressure from being a Senior Manager.  (My husband would have also had to find a different line of work, so that had some impact as well.)  I left and went to work for my husband as a driver.  Kind of a blow to my ego, but we knew we wanted to grow his business and put ourselves in a position to start a family.  It took a while and 4 routes run by me before our plan finally came to be:  A BABY!  We had planned to have me come off the road and stay home for a couple of years.  I was good with that, since we had no family around.  Baby #2 came VERY shortly after #1.  Life continues and they are growing and I love them to death!  The girl and the boy are my world!

Last at dinner, we were talking about what they wanted to be when they grew up.  The boy wants to drive a fire truck (not a FedEx truck....humph!).  The girl said, "I want to be just like Momma and just drive around and go to the store and play."  That is where I got SAD!  Is that really what my kids think I do?  I guess I should be PROUD that she wants to be like her Mother, but really?  I do way more than drive around, shop, and play.  I guess in the eyes of a 4 yr old, that is big stuff.  To me, it was kind of a low blow!

So, what do I have planned for tomorrow?  I guess I will drive to the store to shop (get my huge list for making Valentine dinner for my family and groceries for the rest of the week), and then drive to the courthouse (to finalize a variance application), and then drive home to play (unload all the shit from the store, put it away, make lunch, clean-up breakfast and lunch, make sure no kids kill each other, put kids down for naps/quiet time, work on taxes for the business, run the fur picker-upper, make dinner, serve dinner, clean-up dinner, get a load of wash in, play, bath 2 kids, say Goodnights and then CRASH)!  Yep....drive, shop, play!

The Saga with my dumbass neighbor

So the saga continues.....

His kid finally got caught riding his quad on the road or he is sick, because for 5 days now, there has been peace on the streets of Victoria Cove.  I am not so evil that I want the kid to not be able to have fun in life, but until he and his father show he knows how to ride responsibly and stay off the streets, I will continue to call the police.  I fear for the safety of my kids in the yard playing and while we are driving on the same streets that require me to have a license, insurance, and a plated car.  I have done nothing childish towards this man or his kid.  Yes, I make fun of his 17yr old Waffle House bride on facebook (he is 52) and complain about his stupidity and the stupidity he is passing on to his kid.  But, I do not stoop to childish levels like this ass or his kid are doing.  Here is a piece of mail I received yesterday:

It is from the Marines.  Isn't that nice....Fatty Fatty


I failed to take a picture of the sign he put in his yard directly pointing towards my yard that said Weight Watchers Meets Here.


I know I am fat.  Having babies, loosing my daily workout from my old job, not having time to focus on me because of said babies and a growing business, out of whack hormone levels (documented by an MD), thyroid condition and some serious PPD have all taken a toll on me.  I KNOW I need to get back in shape.  I do go to the gym, albeit not as often as I like or need.  Knowing this, I also know what else is important and it is the girl and the boy and the husband.  Most of what I do is not for me, it is for my FAMILY.  For making things right in life for them.  For making sure they know right from wrong.  For growing them into productive members of society.
My weight is something that can be fixed if I truly focused on it and gave up an hour and a half a day to go to the gym as well as really watching what I eat.  It will come some day when my kids are a little older and when they can do a little more for themselves.  Until then, call me Fatty and post stupid signs in your yard directed at me.  I can fix my problem.  But, in the words of comedian Ron White, "You can't fix stupid!".

The Up Down of Life

Remember how you used to say
You couldn't wait till tomorrow for a brand new day
no fuss when ya had to ride the bus
You just add a little blush
To paralyze your school crush

Now you're older and the weight is on your shoulder
Make the world a little colder
No more hidin in the old day
Be strong Don't you give up hope

It will get hard Life's like a jump rope

Up down
Up down
Up down
Up down yeah
Cause it will get hard
Remember life's like a jump rope
Up down
Up down
Up down
Up down yeah
It will get hard Cause it will get hard

There'll be a bump and there will be a bruise
There'll be alarms and there will be a snooze
There'll be a path that you will have to choose
There'll be a win and there will be a lose

and You gotta hold your head up high and
Watch all the negative go by
Don't ever be ashamed to cry
You go ahead

Cause life's like a jump rope

I want to tell you that everything will be okay
That everything will eventually turn itself to gold
So keep pushing through it all
Don't follow, lead the way
Don't lose yourself or your hope
Cause life's like a jump rope

~Blue October lyrics for their song JumpRope


After this week, I am trying to remind myself over and over that this is true. This week took me to the DOWN part of jump roping. I love my family and try to live a good life and be a productive member of society. This week was full of blows that make me wonder if trying to be a good person and raise good kids with morals is really the right thing to do, since it seems so much easier to be an ass and get away with it. Some news on Saturday started my "bump and bruise". A lot of respect for a family member was lost and I was shocked.

"There'll be a path that you will have to choose." I chose the path to do what is right for my family when others don't take a path at all. If my family is in line for potential hurt, this Trucker Turned Momma is going to stand up and fight. It has been a constant fight with my neighbor over his 11 or 12 yr old kid and his 4-wheeler. The kid rides like an idiot. He has no mind for traffic laws or anyone else on the road. He has scared me in my yard while playing with my kids. He has scared me while driving in the car with my kids. This week, it went beyond his 4-wheeler, but I wasn't part of the escalation yet I am the one left suffering because he thinks I called him out on his illegal business and junk in his yard. He trespassed on my property to take pictures of my chickens. I didn't realize what he was taking pictures of until I received a notice about the issue a day later. Instead, I was just shocked and scared that there was a man in my yard with a camera when I went out of my deck to check the weather before taking the kids out to play. I panicked and dialed 911. Once I realized it was dumbass, I hung up. That is not good. 911 does not like hangups. 2 officers came and I gave a report. A day later 2 detectives came and talked to the dumbass first and then to me. Basically there is nothing I can do because I do not have proof he was on my property. He claims he was on my neighbors and that he has permission, which he does not. Unless she is to go down and make a report, it is his word against mine. So now, I am left shaken because the loose cannon from across the street thinks he has a right to do whatever the hell he wants and the law is on his side more than mine.


I am going to keep pushing thru. I am going to fight it. I am going to file for a variance to keep my chickens. I have support of all direct neighbors and others on the street. I am going to keep the focus on my family and doing what is right for them. I am going to continue to call the police when the dumbass does stuff that is illegal. I am going to keep playing in the yard with my kids and not be scared of him. I am going to install a security camera system. I am not going to lose myself or my hope!

My life in oxymorons

I love a clean house, but I hate to clean.

I like to make my kids look cute, but I don't do a thing about myself.

I can load a trailer in A+ form and know the principles of how to build a good trailer wall, but I cannot get the groceries in the back of my minivan without bruising a banana or squishing the bread. (Cornerstone, base, alternate, shelf and fill are those principles, in case you were wondering!)

I love playing card games and board games, but playing them with my kids is painful because they cannot focus and be determined about it like me!

I can find most any place with a map, but program that stupid TomTom and it pisses me off.

I really like good food, but a lot of times, I am disappointed when I go out to eat because a lot of it I can make as well at home and yet I paid a place to not WOW me.

I can back a 53' trailer into a dock spot and a straight truck thru an offset alley maneuver, but I can't back up my driveway 20% of the time.

I love the lake and boating, but not real fond of swimming with the fish I'd rather catch.

I love my kids, but they both drive me crazy and the same time they are looking so cute.

I used to ride a mountain bike and was pretty hardcore about it, but now I am scared to even ride a regular bike on a paved path.

I am usually exhausted, but still have trouble sleeping.

I love my dogs and cat, but I cannot stand the fur they produce!

Other People's Kids!!

I know I cannot protect my children forever, although I would like to. In the meantime, I will rant and supervise! Here is my rant about said subject:

If your kid watches movies that are not age appropriate, kindly tell them what is not nice about the movie and what they shouldn't share about the movie. Now, I realize that if your 5 year old is watching R movies, you might not care about telling them what isn't appropriate, but I will if they are playing with my kids! My kids do not need to hear about death and killing!! We do not make killing soup to feed to others! We do not do the swing of death that will surely kill you! When it comes time, I will talk to my kids about this subject.

If your kid is out in the street riding a motorized thing without supervision and is an idiot while riding it, I will kindly take pictures, e-mail them to the police, and also call the police on them. Maybe one of these days, you will come to realize that 11 year olds still need some guidance and you as their parent need to provide it. Instead you choose to promote poor behavior! I am sure your kid will end up a productive member of society, just like you are. (Insert eyeroll and sarcastic voice!)

If you let your kid play alone in a play area and you are not around to correct them, I will kindly do so for you. I won't let my kids get run over, pushed, or disrespected because you think the play area at Chick-fil-a is a childcare center.

I want and expect my kids to show respect, act age appropriate, follow directions and rules, and MOST of all, be kind and loving towards others. Too many parents make it awful hard for others to raise our kids with these values. Do your part, parent!! Don't friend! Hold your kid accountable! Show consequences for poor choices! And again....PARENT your offspring!

What are we teaching kids??

I was watching a friend's kids last night and after jammies for the older girl, I told her to pick a book. She picked out a chapter book, Junie B. Jones. I asked her if her Mom reads her this and she said, "Oh yes." (Note, she is almost 5.) So, I started to read. Then I went from reading in normal Mom mode to having to sensor a book written for KIDS!!! Words like DUMB, STUPID, HATE. I thought back to the books I read as a kid (or those that were read to me). One of my all time favorites is Beverly Cleary's, Ramona the Pest. So, what did I spend some time doing this evening? A little compare and contrast between kid's literature of today and kid's literature of my day. Here is an excerpt from Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly School Bus:

"I hate that Jim. After that, the bus kept stopping and starting. And lots of kids kept getting on. Loud kids. And some of them were the kind who look like meanies. Then the bus began getting very noisy and hot inside. And the sun kept shining down on me and my fuzzy hot sweater. And here's another hot thing. I couldn't roll down my window because it didn't have a handle. And so I just kept on getting hotter and hotter.And it smelled in the bus, too. The bus smelled like an egg salad sandwich.
"I want to get off of here," I said right out loud.
But nobody heard me. "I hate it in this stupid smelly bus." Then my eyes got a little bit wet. I wasn't crying, though. 'Cause I'm not a baby, that's why.
After that, my nose started running. Only the bus didn't have a glove compartment. Which is where you keep the travel tissues, of course. And so I had to wipe my nose on my fuzzy pink sweater sleeve.
Then I stayed on the bus for about an hour or three. Until finally I saw a flagpole and a playground. Then Mr. Woo drove the bus into the parking lot and stopped.
I jumped up very fast. 'Cause all I wanted to do was get off that stupid smelly thing!

What do I find wrong with this? She hates. I try to teach my daughter that we don't HATE anyone. We may not like everyone the same and some people are not easy to like, but we do not HATE them. The author does not use correct grammar!! What the FUCK? The last sentence above is a prime example. I jumped up very fast, because all I wanted to do was get off that stupid smelly bus. Kids can talk like adults and use complex sentences for crying out loud! This girl also complained about everything from the beginning to the end and complained about everyone. I CANNOT stand whining, so why would I want a book to encourage my kids to do it?

Do the Ramona books have some not so perfect things in them? Yes. Dumb is used in Ramona, but only twice (not several times in the same page). NEVER is it used to describe a person.

Ramona: "Why did you have to go and do something dumb like hiding behind the trash cans?"

Junie: "HEY, Watch IT YOU DUMB JIM!" I hollered.

I think I will be censoring reading lists and library finds for many years to come!!

For my kids....

My husband and I had some real trouble awhile back. I do not forgive easily and we are still working through some things. I was tempted to give up. I debated and looked to others for guidance. In the end, I decided to work through things for my kids first and foremost and then for us, my husband and myself. Nothing in life is easy! This fact is part of my favorite kids song right now, Jump Rope by Blue October.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fqh-ucVG510&feature=colike



Today was Donuts with Dad Day at preschool. I was given confirmation about my choice of sticking it out through the good, bad and ugly by a story my daughter wrote for her Dad with her teachers, Ms. Lynn and Ms. Martha. Here is what she had to say:

My Dad

My Daddy is 10 years old.
He weighs 1 lbs. and reaches the ceiling fan like Papa John tall.
His hair is black and his eyes are blue.
My Dad loves to relax by sitting on the couch. And he likes to wear a shirt and doesn't take his boots off.
He loves to cook steak, mash potatoes and rice.
His favorite household chore is cleaning up.
His favorite TV show is Monsters and his favorite song is silly Daddy songs.
Daddy always tells me he loves me.
It makes him happy when I play nice with Buddy.
When my Dad shops, he loves to buy fruit, strawberries and chicken nuggets for dinner.
If he could go on a trip, he would go to a camping place and he would take chairs.
I really love when Dad carries me on a rock.

My kids love their Dad and they need their Dad. We may have our differences and we may have our struggles, but for my 2 kids, they need to have parents that love them and each other so they have role models like I had when I was growing up. It is so much easier to run than it is to work and stay, but the work is worth the reward when you see something this special come home!